Chappie Says Tony Scalia May Be Onto Something...

The immensely honorable Associate Justice Antonin G. Scalia has let us into a secret. In a few words, AS asked rhetorically, "“Do you think the American people would ever have ratified the Constitution if they had been told the meaning of this document shall be whatever a majority of the Supreme Court says it is?”  BUT, Mr. Ass. Justice, "The American people" didn't ratify the Constitution, not by a LONG shot. And this is why:

A minority of propertied white men (such as you imagine yourself to be?) ratified it with some difficulty. Many combat veterans of the Revolution were excluded because they had lost everything and couldn't meet the property test. Other combat veterans of our war of independence because they were free black men. Property test? NO women and NO members of any non-white minority had a vote nor is there any evidence in the record that any of the men who crafted that remarkable but deeply flawed reactionary document in secret during the summer of 1787 ever thought for a second about any proposition that their WIVES might be entitled to vote in approval of the document which they hoped would rule their lives going forward. And our lives?

In fact, Tony, if they had seen YOU wandering off the boat, I very much doubt you would have been allowed a vote. If, as a swarthy, penniless Sicilian peasant, you hadn't been blocked from voting, as a Roman Catholic you wouldn't have been respected and venerated either. Actually, as a Roman Catholic, you almost certainly wouldn't have BEEN here in 1787. That's right, in 1787, Catholics comprised less than 1% of the US population, perhaps 25,000 total in the country. More than the Jews but not much more. There was a synagogue in Charleston, South Carolina FIFTY YEARS before there was a Catholic church. The first Catholic bishop in the US, John Carroll of Baltimore, wasn't installed until 1790.

Your endless celebration of "originalism" or textualism as you call it ignores that there was little or no place for you originally. Your conservative Roman Catholicism was no where in the mix among the founding fathers, exactly one of whom was a fellow adherent. Doesn't this give you a queasy feeling?  But leaving all that aside, consider originalism, the notion you famously promote that is famously summed up by your 2013 meltdown where you asserted that “Words have meaning, and their meaning doesn’t change.” What sort of ignorant, bomb-throwing undergraduate nonsense is that? You know as well as the next person that the meanings of words change radically with the passage of time, right? Aren't you pulling our legs, you queer old duck? This is egregious nonsense and I don't mean "remarkably good" as "egregious" once did. But even ignoring the incontrovertible fact that meanings and usage change with time, it is equally obvious to any breathing bi-pedal that different people at the same moment in time have in mind different meanings for the same word.

Your notion of "freedom" (which I would equate with sophomoric license) is not my idea of freedom. My idea of freedom is "to have meaningful choice in as many situations as possible." No, your assertion of your notion of the utterly conservative nature of language (!) with the clear implication that everyone who voted to render the document of Sept. 17, 1787 as the law of the land had the same understanding of the meaning of said words...is applesauce. And I mean it the way you habitually use it--errant nonsense--not as the delicious concoction of cooked apples, sugar and spices that I like to make at home. You must know what I'm going on about, you hypocrite.

Worshiping the Constitution? (Chip Somodevilla, Getty Images)

Facts, fact, facts, Tony...so many facts which all point to the simple fact that you, a conservative Catholic associate justice (one of SIX Catholics--out of nine justices...how did THAT happen?) do not represent the values of the Founding Fathers who in many cases voted in local ordinances discriminating against Catholics. They didn't like you or trust you or know you. Catholics in 1787 and for years afterwards were regarded as negatively in this country as Muslims (also people of the book) are today. Perhaps worse. The values of the FFs were anything but pristine and they are not the values of many if not most Americans today, people who weren't in any way represented in the vote that summer of 1787.

Besides which, the Constitution wasn't even ratified by a plebiscite of those few PWM eligible to vote, perhaps 30% of the total population.  Our defining document was ratified by state legislatures, a total of well under a thousand propertied white men out of a population of nearly four million. Democracy? I have a bridge to sell you...

Like it or not, the constitution of the People's Republic of China was ratified by a more representative group than was our own sacred founding document. There were actually women and members of minority groups involved, if only as window dressing. Facts are a bitch, Tony.

Since Tony, kindly if inadvertently, raises the gross non-representational origins of our founding document, perhaps he would go along with a call for a NEW Constitutional Convention? The first since that summer of 1787. A document that could potentially (if actually ratified) represent the actual beliefs, wishes and aspirations of people who were never dreamed of by the original drafters. I can hear the outraged screaming from all sides. Can the people, after two centuries be trusted to revise the rules under which THEY (we) and our descendants will live for the next century or two? Commie! Terrorist! Liberal!

So thorough is our indoctrination, our brain washing as to the unsurpassed perfection of The Document, that few Americans could even CONSIDER calling a constitutional convention. Am I wrong? But why not? Perhaps the third time would be the charm? We would have the original (actually our SECOND constitution--the Articles of Confederation were absolutely our first constitution) as our default in case we couldn't decide on a re-write of #2. Could we be that much worse off than we currently are? Yes. Could we get there without a Constitutional Convention? Absolutely.

We need a Constitution written by Americans with Tony Scalia and his ilk both in mind and participating. Let's do it!  Oh wait...Tony says this is not a good century in which to re-write the constitution?

PS. All the white people who view the coming of a time when their (our!) kind no longer comprise a majority of the American people but simply the largest minority in a nation in which no group has a quorum--white people should grasp that there will NEVER be a more advantageous time for them (us!) to call a Constitutional Convention than...yesterday.