Chappie Says, Turn Your Backs on Reality--Who Needs IT?

What could that 17 year old girl who shut down the shut down of the 2016 Burning Man have been thinking of?  We may never know. Or care. but perhaps she was looking for help, or a charge for her cell phone or a shower? Or maybe she was looking for some other children to commiserate with?

Quoth the Raven...

Gee, did they have an Amber alert? I thought the whole point of acting like art school pirates was to get edgy…if the edge was nothing more than the grit in their spandex Huggies?  (Don’t ask.)  What is a child doing there?  17?  Hmmm. Perfect for a human sacrifice, no?

Burning Man was cool for the first three years, max. Then it got organized and then regulated and then drowned in assholes.

Paris Hilton making a snow angel at Burning Man

                     

But it is fascinating, I’ll admit.  I know of no finer example of the overwrought struggle of pretentious humanity confronted with the farce of their dreams of personal significance to put their personal creative stamp on a pile of dust. In this case, the dust is not the detritus of their forbears but the desert itself, a place with nothing they would find useful for their survival besides light and air (which few of them would be able to employ in any fashion without the assistance of easy credit), a place with no trace or suggestion of the Civilization that gave rise to all these over-significanced, self-impressed strivers. Yeah, Civilization (having to do with cities.)

 

Chappie, having led a sheltered life, would dearly love to hear secret audio recordings of the speech, the daily babble, of the participants in this business. The recordings wouldn't have to be secret--few of these people could intentionally produce any examples of language that would impress. One might listen for days to hear any of these spectacularly clad, coiffed and painted revelers say anything that was not characterized by the black-hole banality of their needy “souls” and publicists' instructions.

But with any luck, won’t Rihanna be there with her posse next year?

Sigh.

Were one to imagine a B-movie script grounded on BM, it would commence with an HD drone image of 150 Toyota pick-ups sporting 50 cal. machine guns and a few recoil-less rifles on their lightly armored beds dripping with ammo and manned by 600 flinty-eyed ISIL jihadis wearing “I Burned Burning Man” tee shirts, all in serried ranks issuing at dawn’s early light, at low speed, four abreast from Rattlesnake Canyon in the Jackson Mountains of central Nevada and turning left along the banks of the dusty Quinn River heading for a rendezvous with the sluggishly cavorting spawn of Satan, even at that early hour busying themselves inventing new sins and compound inanities 30 miles away SW on the Playa, all as the shadows of night depart and the far darker night seeking them draws nigh…The film would naturally, in finest filmic grammar explain how ISIL’s minions got into Mormon country in force and full of firepower…and what happened to Paris Hilton...

Working title: IS Paris Burning, Man?

Executive Producer: Melania Trump

Starring Scott Baio (as himself), Kirstie Alley, Jesse Ventura...

Yowsa, Yowsa, YOWSA!